I Hate You I Love You (Drarry)
by YaoiShipQueen
Summary: (Inspired by the song 'I Hate You I Love You') The battle with Voldemart is over. and Draco had accepted his love for Harry. Only thing is...He doesn't feel the same


**Kimmie here!! This is based off the song 'I Hate You I Love You'. This is after the war with Voldemart, and I hope you enjoy it. Sorry if it sucks .**

 **WARNING:**

 **Slight Depression talk.**

 **And swearing. Lots of swearing.**

Draco was broken. His years at Hogwarts had finally taken its toll. His father's abuse, the constant pressure, not to mention _him_. He would spend countless hours, thinking of him. The boy he was supposed to hate. Harry Potter, the freaking boy who lived.

 _Feeling used_

 _But I'm still missing you_

 _And I can't see the end of this_

The dreams he would have drove him nuts. Just the two of them, alone with each other. Nothing but apologies and sweet nothings would be exchanged between the two. Each time Draco woke up from these wonderful dreams, a wave of disappointment would wash through him.

 _Just wanna feel your kiss against my lips_

 _And now all this time is passing by_

 _But I still can't seem to tell you why_

Every time Draco tried to apologize to Harry for everything he's done, he could never do it. He can never come up with the right words. He practices in his head, as if he were trying out for a role in a play. But when Draco's around Harry, all the words seem to die off his tongue.

 _I hate you, I love you_

 _I hate that I love you_

 _Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you_

Harry won't get out of his head, and he won't get out. Draco doesn't understand how one day, Harry is his school rival. And then the next, he's head-over-heels in love with him. Whenever he's thinking about Harry, it's like nothing else matters. No one else matters.

 _I hate you, I love you_

 _I hate that I want you_

 _You want her, you need her_

 _And I'll never be her_

Draco would get this burning feeling in his gut whenever he saw Ginny with her arms around all possessive-like. He would be filled with this massive rage. Draco would have to use every will in his body _not_ to punch that girl straight in the face. But it always pained him to see Harry smiling at her. Because Draco knew that he was in love with her, and not him.

 _I miss you when I can't sleep_

 _Or right after coffee_

 _Or right when I can't eat_

Harry never gave Draco the time of day. He never even gave him a second glance! And it hurt him badly. He wanted to go back to the way things were. Where they would fight every chance they got. It wasn't the best, but at least Harry gave Draco attention. He would've preferred that over this complete emptiness.

 _I miss you in my front seat_

 _Still got sand in my sweaters_

 _From nights we don't remember_

Draco remembered once in their 4th year, where their wand fight had gotten a little out of control. Both him and Harry were covered in dirt, and a teacher had to break them apart. Oddly enough, he missed all the fights they had. It even brings a smile to his face when he remembers. Draco just wished Harry would feel the same.

 _Fucked around and got attached to you_

 _Friends can break your heart too,_

 _and I'm always tired but never of you_

Every scowl, every insult, every fight...Draco got so attached to it. so much to the point where he would purposely go out of his way to irritate the green-eyed savior. He never got tired of it. Seeing the rage on his face, listening to the comback he makes. Draco won't lie, he enjoys getting under Harry's skin.

 _If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit_

 _I put this real out, but you wouldn't bite that shit_

 _I type a text but then I nevermind that shit_

 _I got these feelings but you never mind that shit_

 _Oh oh, keep it on the low_

 _You're still in love with me but your friends don't know_

 _If u wanted me you would just say so_

 _And if I were you, I would never let me go_

 _I don't mean no harm_

 _I just miss you on my arm_

 _Wedding bells were just alarms_

 _Caution tape around my heart_

 _You ever wonder what we could have been?_

 _You said you wouldn't and you fucking did_

 _Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix_

 _Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed_

 _Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing_

 _Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance_

 _I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing_

 _But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings_

 _When love and trust are gone_

 _I guess this is moving on_

 _Everyone I do right does me wrong_

 _So every lonely night, I sing this song_

Draco stared at his untouched food, imaging what things could've been if Draco was nicer to the savior to the wizard world. Maybe they would've been friends. Maybe...Maybe Harry would've fell just as hard as Draco did.

It sure was nice to imagine. Thinking of Harry was really the only thing he did nowadays. You could say he's obsessed, but Draco would disagree.

Draco has changed. A lot. And because of Harry, he's only been worse. He was deathly pale, and he was so thin you could actually see his bones, that is if he ever showed you. Scars covered his bodys, some old and some new. dark bags were under his eyes, and his hair wasn't as well-kept like it used to. The worst has to be his eyes. They were so dull, like all the life has been sucked out of them.

 _I hate you, I love you_

 _I hate that I love you_

 _Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you_

 _I hate you, I love you_

 _I hate that I want you_

 _You want her, you need her_

 _And I'll never be her_

Draco silently gulped when he saw Ginny and Harry and few tables down. He couldn't help but stare at the two. A jealously started rising in him. How pathetic and gullible Harry was...Draco saw Ginny cheating on him multiple times. But could he tell Harry? No. He couldn't.

 _All alone I watch you watch her_

 _Like she's the only girl you've ever seen_

Suddenly his heart felt like it was being crushed when he saw Ginny kiss Harry, which he only returned. To prevent him from crying, Draco bit his lip.

 _You don't care you never did_

 _You don't give a damn about me_

He had to face the truth. Harry never liked Draco, and he never will. He never considered even thinking of befriending the blonde. He always thought of him as the enemy. He could never love someone like Draco.

 _Yeah all alone I watch you watch her_

 _She's the only thing you've ever seen_

Draco watched as the two pulled away from the kiss with smiles on their faces. A look of pure love was on Harry's face, but Ginny didn't have any sort of emotion in her eyes. She may have been wearing a smile, but she didn't have any true feelings for him.

 _How is it you'll never notice_

 _That you are slowly killing me_

He couldn't stand it. Draco stood up from the table, which attracted the attention of a few students.

But he didn't care. He just wanted to get away. Far, far away from the cause of his pain.

So he ran. He ran through the halls, all the way down to the dungeons. He didn't stop until he was in his room.

 _I hate you, I love you_

 _I hate that I love you_

 _Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you_

He went to his drawer and fumbled for his blade. The only way he knew how to soothe the pain was to slice up his wrists, as ironic as it may seem.

When he found it, he grabbed it as if his life depended on it. He made a small cut on his hand by accident, but he didn't notice let alone care.

He pulled up his sleeves, revealing his scarred up arm. He placed the cold blade at his arm, letting out a shaky breath.

 _I hate you, I love you_

Hesitation filled his head. What would his friends think of this? What would the precious golden boy think? His mom...?

 _I hate that I want you_

A sudden realization went through him. His friends are either dead or not talking to him.

Harry wouldn't care. Why would he? Draco was an ass to him for years, and Harry should only return the favor.

And his mom was gone. She was sent away after the battle with Voldemart. She was no longer here to make things okay.

And thats when he made the first cut. The warm blood dripped down from his arm to the floor.

 _You want her_

Second cut.

 _you need her_

Third cut.

 _And I'll never be her_

An image of Ginny went through Draco's head.

She was the reason why he was so unhappy.

She was the reason why he wanted to die.

And she was going to pay.

 **~*~**

 **I'm so so sorry it sucks! Draco turned into a Yandere into the end...Betcha never saw that coming, eh?**


End file.
